1 post tagged “pre-nup”
I've been thinking lately about relationships. Well, not so much about relationships, but about break-ups.
I have had many past live-in relationships with very different types of men and consequently suffered through many breakups. One thing I've noticed is that people take weird shit when they move out. I wonder what you take out of a relationship says about you as a person. Hmmmmm
My first ex took all of the photos he could find of me as a child and a teenager. (Ewwww!) He took my high school yearbooks, cheerleading pictures, parts of my cheerleading outfits and even some things my then dead grandmother made for me as a child. I think he was trying to steal pieces of me. Maybe....He also told me that no man would ever love me, and that I would come crawling back within 6 months. (Yeah say that if you ever want to have a chance at re-kindling a broken relationship.) Even if I had wanted to get back together - which I absolutely DID NOT - he had met and married a new girl within 2 months of our breaking up. Yes, that is right - 60 days. It would have been nice if he had returned my stuff.
My next ex just took cash. All the money I had at the time - $1500 - measly dollars, I was in college at the time. He also took every T-shirt I had. Every one! I never knew him to have a T-shirt fetish - but whatever.
The third ex took my showercurtain. Yep, it was just a plain white pintucked cloth showercurtain. Cost me all of $30.00, I think. He also took some rather expensive Lalique crystal vases, all of my CD's (and he HATED my music), a Louis Vuitton laptop case, a few pieces of jewlery, and all of my Christmas ornaments - which had been left to me by my Great grandmother. He also took cash - $1800 this time. This one was obviously just a lunatic. Maybe he was shopping for gifts for the new girlfriend. I can't figure that one out, but I felt as if I had been looted.
The last ex took very little. Just some furniture, pillows, and such stuff. And he asked before he took anything. And I gave him anything and everything he requested. He did cop to taking a couple of photographs of me taken years before we met, but I didn't even remember having them in the first place, so I didn't mind. I think he still respects me - which is kind of novel.
So, the boyfriend (I'll just call him Sug - as in sugar) and I have been talking about moving in together one day in the not too distant future. I asked Sug what he would take upon a breakup. Sweet man that he is, he didn't freak out on me or misinterpret my question as pessimism about our relationship. And he answered! (God I love this one.) He said he would take the electronics. He would take the TV, stereo system, computer, etc. Of course, I choose to interpret this answer as meaning he would be so totally devastated by breaking up with me that he would have to take stuff to distract himself with so he could go on living. (mini-violins, here) It is either that or he only loves me for my high-def TV. I don't think that is it.
The one time I left, I took enough clothing for a week. Not a pillow, not a blanket, nothing. I slept on the cold, hard, concrete floor of my new apartment. It was a little like sleeping in a parkinglot. And it felt sooooooooo gooooood. I was revelling in the fact that I didn't need him, anyone or anything. I wonder what that says about me?
And it has just occurred to me this minute that I also wonder about the prudence of working out a plan for a breakup in advance of moving in with someone. Sort of like a preliminary pre-nup. I suppose this document would only have to address things you acquired during the relationship, but how would you react to such a request by your love? And, what would you insist on taking? AND what is the weirdest thing an ex ever took from you after a breakup?
