5 posts tagged “men”

Guess who called today?  This Guy.  He called to apologize for his egregious and inexcusable behaviour.  He wants me to call so he can apologize "in person" rather than to my voicemail.

Only took him 13 days......so he might actually mean it.  Or not......

I'm in no rush to call him back.

Went out last night.

A good friend was at the bar with his wife, my Ex, and another fellow.  My friend and I walked in, were invited to sit down and were served beer.  The conversation was good.  Until......

Good friend tried to pick a fight with his wife by putting her down and telling all of us that she often talks about things that she knows nothing about.

Then, after my Ex left, he tried to talk crap about him.

Then, he told me that my relationship with Sug would NEVER work and that he would leave me and break my heart.  (He has never met Sug.)

And then he asked me if I have ever heard of a diet.

I stood up, politely said, "Fuck you" and started to walk out.  He told me not to talk to him that way.  I responded with another "Fuck you." And left.

The friend I came with walked out shortly thereafter and told me he was surprised that I didn't put up more of a fight.  He also told me that I should have responded like a guy and ripped on him.  Maybe I should have asked him whether he had ever heard of Rogaine or platform shoes.

Women just don't think like that.  We just don't think that those kinds of personal attacks are okay.

What do you think?

So what is the worst sin that one partner in a relationship can commit against the other?

Is it sex with another?

Is it forming an emotional connection with another not your partner?

I say it is being taken for granted; taken as a given, as an "of course."  Although, emotional and/or physical infidelity is impossible unless one partner takes the other for granted in the first place.  Ungratefulness or ingratitude may just be the root of all evil in all life.

I have made my disdain for this sin of ingratitude known to every man I have ever been in a relationship with.  I have asked that I simply not be last on his every list.  Last on every list - all the time.  I am not a monopolizer.  I don't expect to be top priority every minute of every day, however, I would like to enjoy some time away from the caboose.  I always start at the front of the train and end up in the last car.  Why is that?  Maybe it is that I am riding in the caboose on my own train too.

I also don't expect a man to thank his lucky stars that I have graced the same planet, country, or room that he has.  But there has to be some appropriate middle ground.  Somewhere.

Despite my symbiotic simultaneous warning and plea: every man has violated my simple request that he remember that I can and will walk away if I am taken for granted.  I have thus walked away from every relationship I have ever had.  The other party always seems shocked - or outraged.  Well, always except for the one I accidently caught in an intimate position with another.  He was pretty understanding about my refusal to discuss the situation further.  Besides that one, they have always been shocked.  Especially the one that said, " I just always thought you'd be here!" And another one that proclaimed, "If I'd known it'd be our last Christmas together, I would have bought you a present!"

So, I have been beaten, cheated on, and forgotten about.  Seriously - what the hell.  I understand THAT which we most fear comes to pass.  But I have never been afraid of being taken for granted.  I have never believed it inevitible.  I have always known that I did not have to and would not accept being a doormat.  Yet, it always comes to pass. 

Sug is walking dangerously close to the line.  I am upset because he has started forgetting that we made plans together.  He makes plans with me and then ditches me to go out with his buddies.  This has happened several times now.  I understand that this may be due in large part to his age.  I truly want him to go and see and do all those things that we all went and saw and did.  But I am so torn.  I don't want to give him up, but I think I have to.  For his sake and mine.  He needs to have the time to be a flakey twenty-something and I need to get on with things before I get to the end of my thirties. 

Guess I'll be torn and thinking about the future tonight - and making my way back toward the engine of my own bullet train. 

Although I do not think this is at all funny, I present a list for you men who are frustrated by the women in your lives...  (Edit:  I couldn't help but add my own thoughts.  But you know women, we just can't keep our traps shut.)

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None, It should be opened when she brings it.  (Ha!)

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

(I really can't speak to this one as I have supported all but one man in my life.)

Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink. 

(No, your feet are grotesquely large to keep your legs from collapsing into bloody stumps under the weight of your beer gut.)
 
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me...   "  (and continues with "that his wife told him....")

How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.   (As if we would actually ask you to fix anything that complicated anyway.)

Why do men more frequently pass gas than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.   (No, y'all just routinely talk out of your ass.)

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.   (Oh, buddy.  Believe me, so will I.  So will I.)
 
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told!   (And until you tell us to do what we want to do, we won't.)

I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.   (How do you think we feel learning we married Mr. Wrong? And hey!  We have the same first name!) 

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.  (Quit whining and pull the ripcord on your inflatable doll.  cue the cymbals)

Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.   (and We want you to...)

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.  (and still deserving of the attentions of George Clooney)
 
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.  (Right, your not resting there with your hand tucked in your waistband as you lie on the sofa watching baseball? What about when you start to snore?)

I am sorry about the filler, but I laughed so hard!

I have to go shave my beard now.