1 post tagged “halloween”
So, here I am again. In bed alone on a Friday night. What the hell? Ugh, frustration is starting to set in.
Long crappy rainy day. Not cold, just rainy and gray. I think the high was around 70 degrees today. Still, I felt the need to wear a sweater - cause that is just the kind of mood I'm in.
Stayed at work until 9:00 tonight. And YES PAUL, I cleaned my desk.
Feeling sorry for myself, I thought I would call up another sorry loser. Met the ex for dinner. Bad, bad, bad idea. It all started friendly enough. We sat down at a hippie pizza joint at just before 10:00. He had already ordered a veggie pizza. Normally, this would have been great, but with the mood I was in - I needed to feel the toughness of some cured flesh between my teeth. Broccoli would have to do.
The Ex lit a cigarette, I reached across the table, took it from his fingers and took a nice, long slow drag and gave it back. The waitress came, I ordered a beer. What is unusual about that? Well, the Ex is on the wagon - and he needs to be. He is an alcoholic. So I ordered a beer - his drink of choice - and proceeded to swill it right in front of him. Then I ordered two more. I am a callous bitch. But, I sat stone sober in front of his drunken ass hundreds of times so, I figured he owes me.
We small talked, and ate pizza. Then suddenly we weren't small talking anymore. We were big talking. Big talking about tangled finances and all our bills I am paying. He said "you know I will help, just ask." At this point I laughed. He has said this many times before and in fact, I had asked about two months ago. His response to my request made months ago, "Well to be fair...blah blah blah." Followed by a two hour fight which ended with me, characteristically, letting him off the hook and telling him I will take care of everything - as I always have - alone. FUCKER
Anyway, needless to say the rage started boiling in my pizza stuffed, beer filled belly. And I laughed. He was very offended by my laughing at his offer to help. I explained why I found his offer laughable. He again said, "well, to be fair...blah blah blah" followed by some excuse about how he didn't understand the situation before. Which declaration led to even more rage churning deep within me. Didn't understand? Didn't understand? God damned mother fucker - (long story here - but suffice it to say that he has no excuse for not understanding). Of course, I swallowed my anger and remained cool. Veeeeeeeeeeeeeeery cool. I was glad I had on a sweater.
Oh well, dinner ended poorly, but I did snag the take home box and it is sleeping soundly in my fridge. Take that asshole! Nothing like a little passive agressive gesture to end an evening, I always say.
So, I made it home. Home to the dog. Home to the old faithful bitch. Home alone to quietly stew and simmer. Home where there is no TV to divert me. Home to a house filled with books about the European and other world economies, the rise of American airpower, military and social histories of varied societies, Eudora Welty and Flannery O'Conner.
Is it any wonder I am angry?
Oh well, I will focus on tomorrow. I have to go to work and then I might go to a halloween party. Ugh - which means I have to dress. I hate costume dressing. I have no idea what to do - my sister went as a field of poppies once. I could do that - green satin dress and red poppy-like flowers. Or I could hunt a mexican ensemble down at a local market, draw on a unibrow and go as Feida, or I could go as a sexy secretary - ooooo maybe a 1940's style secretary...hmmmmm - help! help help. If I can't think of anything I can put together in under an hour, I will just stay home. Help!
Update: I did stay home, but Sug was there and we didn't need costumes......
