This is why men get a reputation for being assholes
Went out last night.
A good friend was at the bar with his wife, my Ex, and another fellow. My friend and I walked in, were invited to sit down and were served beer. The conversation was good. Until......
Good friend tried to pick a fight with his wife by putting her down and telling all of us that she often talks about things that she knows nothing about.
Then, after my Ex left, he tried to talk crap about him.
Then, he told me that my relationship with Sug would NEVER work and that he would leave me and break my heart. (He has never met Sug.)
And then he asked me if I have ever heard of a diet.
I stood up, politely said, "Fuck you" and started to walk out. He told me not to talk to him that way. I responded with another "Fuck you." And left.
The friend I came with walked out shortly thereafter and told me he was surprised that I didn't put up more of a fight. He also told me that I should have responded like a guy and ripped on him. Maybe I should have asked him whether he had ever heard of Rogaine or platform shoes.
Women just don't think like that. We just don't think that those kinds of personal attacks are okay.
What do you think?
Comments
Good on you, K.
Seems like a no-brainer to me. Not acceptable. Fortunately, most of the men I know like themselves enough not to be assholes to other people.
I think he would say that he was just being "brutally honest."
But sometimes, brutal honesty is not appropriate. If you ask me a question sincerely wanting to know the answer, I will give you my honest opinion. However, I have never understood people who think it is okay to present their opinion when they haven't been asked.
Even then, a certain quantity of diplomacy is required. Surely.
brutal honesty is ok if there is a real or perceived benefit for the recipient. If the intention is only to hurt or be spiteful in some way, there is no legitimate rationale for using it. Fuck him is right.
Sounds to me like he is making a VERY feeble attempt to get into your good graces by discrediting those around you. The fact that he threw his wife under the bus simultaneously is just good measure to show what an asshole he really is.
Bullshit.
Sorry K, I don't jive with gross generalizations like that. I can just as easily say when it comes to blows, men supposedly fight with honor, but women fight dirty. Just as stereotypical, but just as inaccurate for everyone in general.
I'm sorry that he acted like a real schmuck. Don't know how his mama raised him, but he obviously insults her with his total lack of manners and sense of decency and common courtesy.
I hope you understand where I'm coming from. His behavior was inexcusable, but I resent generalizations about gender like that.
Regardless, you seem like a pretty great person so there doesn't seem to be any reason to burden yourself with a 'friend' like this. Maybe his wife doesn't need that burden either, come to think of it.
You are soooooooo wrong, sir. Men who are friends are constantly hitting each other with put-downs women would never use to a friend's face.
Men rib each other about bad haircuts, having an ugly mug, being short, chicken legs, putting on weight, dick size, etc. etc. etc. Women do not joke like that with each other. Period.
Women are vicious in a fight with a foe - not with a friend she wants to keep.
I will say that most of the men I have ever socialized and hung out with have been jocks who were super competitive by nature. Maybe you were never the jock type or didn't hang around groups of frat boys in college?
Kevin Wolf has a sensitive side! Who knew!
mwah!
Yep and yep.
Women do not joke like that with each other. Period.
Women are vicious in a fight with a foe - not with a friend she wants to keep.
There is an exception to EVERY rule.
Moms rape their sons and crush their souls. Oh, wait. That's family. But why should that be different?"Oh, it's just her way of showing love and concern." Bah. Women may not act brutish, necessarily, but they can be shrewy, manipulative, and all the while claim that they are acting that way because they care.
I should not have to justify my experience to you.
Dude! Back the hell off! This is my blog and you commented. I replied to your comment. No one asked you to justify anything.
If I didn't know you were a man, I'd think you premenstrual.
See? I can slam all genders at once!
Equal opportunity slamming.
By and large, men constantly jab at each other, but it's only acceptable when they've established the foundation. Same can go with a husband and wife. I know the couple I play poker with equally bash on each other, and it's all in good fun because they established that long ago.
Getting back to your story, this "good friend" even had the audacity to try the 'fat route' on a woman? That's a major violation right there, to which he became offended by a natural reaction?
;)
*as joey runs away quickly before he gets a rogaine laden platform shoe shoved up his ass*
You are right. Men have to have the relationship established before they can say things like that too.
Absolutely.
Well, you have a point. The man is always right. I really shouldn't have overreacted.
:D