Emotional Wasteland...

Warning: rambling post ahead.

Post holiday Monday:

Wow, what a day I had yesterday.  I scrambled through the entire workday, bobbing and weaving while trying to explain the realities of the modern world of business and the necessity of contracts to a man willing to risk 12.7 million dollars on a handwritten three sentence document.  I also had to explain why it was necessary that I take more than a couple of hours to put together this document and the spin-off contracts and documents that were required.  He still doesn't get it and thinks I am just trying to pad my wallet.  The reality is that I am just trying to cover everyone's behinds, including mine.  'Cause guess who would be sued if things went awry.  Moi.

Hello and Fuck You Very Much:

Oh well, finished work at about 7:00 and had what was to be a brief conversation with the Ex via telephone.  It did not go well.  Apparently, now I am a huge villain in his mind that has routinely kept him from doing things he wanted to do.  Excuse me?  I'm not going to go into the details, but suffice it to say that it ended with a round of fuck you's for everyone.  The strange thing about it is that we NEVER had a fight when we were together.  We NEVER raised our voices.  We still have never had a fight face-to-face.  This was a two hour verbal smack down. I was a wreck after that, but the night was not over.

I went to his house to pick up the keys to my life.  He knew I was coming and had them all ready for me.  He had keys to everything, every door I enter, every space I own or lease, every vehicle - everything.  He knew this was it, that I was shutting him out of my life.  He gave the ring of keys to me and cried and cried and cried.  I teared up...I didn't cry - until I had driven a block and half from his house.  Then came the tears. 

I need a drink:

I composed myself with the help of Sug on the phone, went home and took the dog for a walk.  It was 10:00 - and the phone rang.  My poor Charleston friend, E, was having a crisis.  She has had to commit her 15 year old son to a mental hospital for evaluation and treatment.  I think he may be bi-polar.  I let her cry to me for an hour and did my best to console her. 

As our conversation was winding down, my sister beeped in.  I let E go and picked up my sister's call.  I asked how she was and she immediately burst into tears.  Another hour and a half spent comisserating with her about her lost relationship and trying to convince her that her life is not over at 33.  Poor dear. 

I enjoyed a huge and much needed Sidecar.

C3PO:

The result?  I have nothing left.  I am not an emotional person and I don't particularly enjoy dealing with other people's emotions.  I do it on a daily basis for work - in little bite-sized bits.  But yesterday, I suffered a many houred torrent of tears from every direction, including my own.  I'm dead inside now.  Which, oddly, has worked to my advantage today. 

Remember the Wizard?  Well, I talked to him today.  I talked to him about the facts, the course I saw this litigation taking and my client's intent to see it through to the bitter end.  I had no animation in my voice.  I was almost robotic.  Apparently, it convinced him I was serious (well, that and the 20,000 documents I unloaded on him last Wednesday).  He wants to talk about settling this thing.  He is going to have a serious discussion with his client and see if he can get an offer.  I told him my client was willing to listen, but had lost his sense of humor and that anything less than a serious offer would only serve to reinforce my client's commitment to maintain the offense and go to trial.

The Wizard has committed to calling next week. 

The Release:

On a lighter and MUCH happier note, this weekend, I am going to spend three whole days and nights away from work and in the arms of Sug - kissing, hugging, loving, fucking, sucking, pulling, slapping, squeezing, biting.  I hope he is prepared, I have some animalistic rage lurking way down deep that I am going to unleash on him.  I know he is up to the task; if he isn't, I'll pull out the riding crop and change his mind.  Heh heh.